This week in school, I found out some things about my peers’ POVs on LGBTQ+. And they were slightly surprising. I mean, lots of people use “gay” as an adjective to describe anything weird or strange or gross or scary or anything of the like. So I already knew that a) they don’t really understand how to properly sue the word “gay” and b) they [probably] don’t really like gay people.
One thing I learned is that some people—even some who are my good friends—are very homophobic. They think that you get to choose to be gay or lesbian or whatever. And they think it’s gross and unnatural. One of the reasons that I think people think this is that they’re uninformed. Maybe friends who have never known someone who was gay told them these things, and they decided it was right. Maybe their parents are uninformed or just very anti-gay. Whatever the reason, many people are homophobic, and it broke my heart to learn this.
It was during design class. I was telling my friend about my new novel because she’d read the first twenty-five pages and wanted to know if I’d written more. The boy next to me overheard and asked me what it was about. I described the main characters to him and the extremely basic root of the plot. Afterward, he kind of grimaced and said something along the lines of, “That’s weird. Having a gay character.” I proceeded to inform him that Jack was bisexual, not gay, which he still thought was weird. I asked him why he thought so and he said it was “gross” for two people of the same gender to be kissing. He said he didn’t like gay people and all that stuff.
I lectured him for a moment, and he kind-of-not-really listened. Then my friend who is a 120% ally came over and joined in. We had to go to our next class, and as we waited outside, I heard a few of my friends near me discussing how of course people choose to be gay.
UMMM. What the heck???
The second thing that happened went a little something like this. We were playing basketball in PE and I was “subbed out.” [Which means that we have too many players so one has to stay on the sidelines and switch out.] One girl whom I know and talk to was also subbed out, so we talked while they played. After a little bit of chatting, she told me about something really funny that has happened today.
Apparently, this one boy was walking around with his hands crossed over his chest [I don’t even know why] and someone had said that he was transgender and was covering up his breasts. And then someone joked that he was on his period. I know I should have said something, but I was kind of speechless at the sheer horridness of this, and I just kind of nodded and smiled a little and turned away to watch the basketball game. The girl was still chuckling to herself.
I’m not transgender. I’m not claiming to know exactly how trans people feel. However, not only am I an ally, I am writing a book in the POV of a transgender person, and this hit me kind of hard. People are now joking that others are transgender, and scorning them for it?
thoughts about this? tell me in the comments below.
Free As a Girl With Wings 
This blog post relates a lot to what happens at my school too. Kids call other kids gay because their sitting next to someone the same gender as them. It’s crazy. They also make gay a negative or bad word. I hate it. Thanks for writing this.
*sighs* Sometimes I think that SURELY people can’t be THAT ignorant, but then I remember a conversation I had on the last day of this 4-H event in… 2013, I think? Like, the event was held in DC and the high school students attending were supposed to be the “best and brightest.”
My roommate was the most uneducated-about-LGBTQ-issues person I have ever met. Best and brightest, ha. My personal favorite question from her (I’m being sarcastic here) was, “So what guy hurt you to make you gay?” Also, the moment when she referred to churches that welcome LGBTQ+ people as “the weeds of Christianity.” *frustrated Engie noises*
Most of the people I interact with aren’t QUITE that ignorant, but there are still a lot of misconceptions and it’s so frustrating. Like, people who understand and support gay people but then go, “Lol, ‘bisexual’? So really they’re gay and just in denial???” NOOOOOO STOP.
I just don’t get it….I’m not saying that they don’t want to love who they love, but who would WANT that hate from society?! Anyway, I was reading and like screamed to lina, “IM 120% ALLY!!!!” Anyway, ppl need to get over this subject, even if you don’t agree, it doesn’t even harm you so back it up. As you are aware, I am like very passionate about this subject so yeah.
You are 120% ally! :D
I love talking about this too.
I’ve noticed this a couple of times at my school too and it’s great that you’re addressing it. I think if more people knew how offensive it is to behave this way then it wouldn’t happen as often..But like you said, either their parents or someone tells them something and they assume that its true.
Sometimes I feel like I live under a rock because I know of gay people, even in real life, but I rarely see it and I definitely don’t see the bullying/abuse. Ignorant, blind, I don’t know what it is. I get most of my information from books, movies, media, etc. Which means I’ve heard a lot of different views. It also means that I have to form my own opinions because obviously there are no concrete facts here. Why some people are gay and why others are not, well, nobody can say. Whether it’s a choice or not is also debatable. I don’t think people say, oh yeah I want to be gay. But at the same time, I could literally decide to do that right now. I could dump my boyfriend and get with a girl (theoretically, getting into a relationship isn’t all that easy). I’m not saying people actually do this, but you see how things can get confusing? And in a world that, believe it or not, is becoming more accepting of this, well, I think that would change some people’s mind. Because people are very impressionable.
I also don’t like the way the term “homophobic” is being used. Mostly because I don’t think it’s wrong to, I don’t know, not support gays? I have nothing against them, they can do whatever they want. Get in relationships, raise kids, don’t know. Don’t care. I guess I see no reason to celebrate it, like a lot of people want to. And because I won’t celebrate it, I am against it. And that’s what I feel is messed up about this situation. I don’t think they should get married because they can’t have kids on their own. There is an “unnatural” aspect to this because biologically, they can’t reproduce. But given the choice between sending a child to an orphanage or putting the child in a loving family. I would choose the latter, regardless of sex or sexual orientation.
I am not anti-gay. I am not homophobic. I know I will be called all of these things at some point in my life. Because of my views I’ll be compared to the proud racists at the time of the civil rights movement. But for the time being I am just trying to figure things out.
Sorry again for the long, controversial comment… Feel free to let me know if I’m getting out of hand…